Shades of Destiny
by Loves Ironic Tragedy
Summary: A dead story. Do not read?
1. HalfEmpty

**Shades of Destiny**

**Half-Empty**

I was only sixteen… Sixteen is so young to be living alone in the Dark Meridian. I was not always trapped here. I… I don't remember how I ended up here. All I know is that a year or so after my parents were both gone, I ended up here. I ended up on the bridge between the Realm of Darkness and the Realm of Light. I ended up in emptiness… loneliness… void. Yes. I suppose _void_ is the best word for the Dark Meridian. I have a right to talk about it. As much as it disgusts me, it is very much my home and the Heartless living in it my family. I could never bear to hurt them—not after everything they had done for me. At that point, in the midst of a philosophical moment, I wondered Heartless really were or not.

I never did come to a conclusion about that one; decided that it didn't matter as long as they weren't killing me or trying to turn me into Dusk.

One morning, which was hard to discern from night in a world composed of darkness, I woke up with an itch to explore—to get out of my world. I was sick of it, really. You couldn't blame me, either. How would you feel if you lived in a realm of total darkness and misery? I wanted to open a door to the Realm of Light and venture there. I knew from the schools that I attended prior to being locked away in the Dark Meridian that there were other realms. My home… If I recall, I am of a place called Traverse Town. I don't remember much about it now; it feels so long ago I lived there. I don't even remember how I used to act around my friends, if I even had multiple. With the help of a Heartless- a bubbly Neoshadow with a tendency to freak me out –I managed to find a door to the realm of Light and when it opened, the monster helped me through.

As my body was compressed into the size of a shoebox and glowed like a firefly, I did my final mental-goodbyes to the Dark Meridian, hoping that I would never have to go back, but knowing that the road of life would lead me back there again. It's funny, pessimism. Before my parents left me, I was the happiest adolescent in the world. I had everything anyone could ask for—a loving set of parents, a beautiful home with the most _spectacular_ view of the morning sun, and I was taught by some of the best scholars that were available. My parents refused to let me end up like the students at the local school and told me that they were naïve and would spend life living in a dream world while they stood in quicksand, being pulled down into desperation when they weren't looking. At a young age I began to pity those around me, wondering why anyone would _choose_ to live in a blissfully ignorant matter, virtually wearing a _kick me_ sign on their back.

Pity might have been what got my mother killed when he blindly offered help to a murderer that suffocated her then threw her body into the ocean.

Pity might have been what stole my dad from me shortly after my motherwas officially dead and gone when he ran off with a woman he hardly knew after mom's funeral.

I refused to be like either of them by letting myself pity others or vice-versa. Sadly, though, it was this type of sympathy that was leading me away from the Dark Meridian. I pitied myself, knowing that if someone else had been with me all that time on that border between Light and Dark that they would feel bad for me. This excursion to the Realm of Light would be my only allowance—the only exception to the most sacred rule I held myself to.

Suddenly, the air began to grow thin as my body started to unravel. I was tossed straight into the ocean as a flash of white light with a scream and a massive splash mistakable for lightning and thunder respectively. When fully submerged, I open my eyes slowly. This ocean… It was not saltwater, but freshwater. A freshwater ocean… Weird, it was.

My feet could touch the beach floor so I used them to push off and quickly make it to the surface before I ran out of breath. Above the water, I shook out my hair with heaving breaths, all painful in both my chest and stomach. I treaded water a bit until I was fully stable and could see the isle before me. I could be sure, if my genius of a former geography teacher/gypsy was right, that this place, with its beautiful bright blue sky and balmy breeze, was one of the Destiny Islands.

Above me, said fireflies I claimed to look like swirl in the sunset, dancing in the light pushes of wind gusts travelling through the air. Some of the lightning bugs were carried off with the breeze, doing the back-float on playful drafts. A bemused smile lights up my face for the first time in a long time. As I edge toward the shore, the soft shore composed of shimmery white sand, I notice that I was tossed into the water fully clothed. Normally, I'd be mad about this. But instead I find myself in laughter; I find myself in cheerful, genuine, childish laughter that hasn't touched my lips since before I can remember. I collapse to the beach in stiches, laughing for no visible reason. Why is this funny? Why am I smiling? I haven't smiled in what feels like years. Actually, I haven't smiled in years. The foreign expression floods my ears, and the ears of the anonymous person belonging to the shadow blocking my light.

I abruptly cease laughing and rub my teary eyes. I blink a ton of times to clear the blurry vision. Above me is a man. I mean, I guess he looked about my age but he was seriously _manly_ looking, silvery tresses falling over his shoulders and face. Jade green eyes are darkened by shadows. I blush. This is the first human being I've seen in over a year and it's a boy and he is staring right at me. I don't even know how I look anymore! I could be hideous! Oh my gosh this is _not even funny_.

"Can I help you?" I manage to ask somehow, someway, unable to rid myself of this denigrating heated face ailment.

"Are you okay?" he asks, kneeling down behind my head. "You look _really_ pale."

No duh I was pale—I hadn't seen this much sun since before my mom died. "No, it's okay. I'm fine." I prop myself up so I'm half-sitting. Just to make sure that I'm not crazy, I ask where I am.

"Destiny Islands; why do you ask?" he says, walking around to the front of me and offering up his hand to pull me up.

I gratefully take it. "Just wondering," I say.

With all the strength I can muster, I try to pull myself up. Not knowing my own power, I end up yanking the boy down on top of me. I squeal as he lands, straddling me. Great; my first time with human contact in ages and I'm already embarrassing myself in front of someone hot. I have _the worst_ luck in history—especially since this guy's eyes are wide and he looks just as startled as I do, but doesn't seem to be uncomfortable.

"Hi," he suddenly holds out his hand once more, this time as a gesture of gentlemanly behavior. "I'm Riku. It's nice to meet you."

I blink at least a million times before shaking his hand. I yelp when he skillfully leaps to his feet and pulls me up with him like some kinky dance move. I feel swept away for a moment, but introduce myself. "I'm Cara. It's nice to meet you too." I dazedly turn my head this way and that, rushed to take in the scenery. "So this is one of the Destiny Islands? Man, it's even prettier than I thought it'd be."

Riku tilts his head. "No wonder you're so pale—are you from a different world?" he asks, still hanging onto my hand even though I'm _still _drenched from my little _dip in the pond_.

I nod. "Yes. I'm… I'm from _way_ out there." I wave my hand in the direction of the ocean to emphasize the point. Riku nods knowingly. I scratch my wet head, imagining a bug crawling in it.

Riku raises an eyebrow. "Would you like a towel, fresh clothes or something?" he asks with a chuckle.

I blush more furiously than ever before. _He was on top of me while I was wet…_ "Uh… Sure, if it isn't too much trouble."

By the hand Riku never let go of, I am gently tugged offshore towards a neatly tropical area of homes. There were three that stood out, all grand compared to the others around it. One had a large lily growing in front of it. One had this really wild clump of weeds in front of it that knotted abstractly. The third, presumably this guy's home, had a baby tree growing next to it. I smiled at its cuteness, catching Riku blush. He pushed the door to the cabana open with one hand, released mine, and waited for me to enter first.

I muttered a thank you.

The inside of the home was a huge surprise, mostly because it reminded me of the home I lived in as a child before the Meridian. The floors were all square, wooded tile. Walls were white. Lighting were little lights stuck on the ceiling with knobs to turn them up or down in brightness. Kitchen and dining room were the same room. Sliding glass door beyond the dining table led out to a porch looking over the ocean. Furniture and appliances were white. Everything else was various shades of yellows and light blues. I followed Riku to a bathroom whose color-scheme was the opposite of the rest of the house; the flooring was white, the fixtures sapphire blue with white speckles.

My mouth hangs open. "Your home is amazing!" I gawk. A towel promptly hits me in the face. It smells like lavender.

"Thanks. I don't do much living here, but it's a place to eat and sleep."

"Riku!" I hear a door shut behind the feminine voice echoing from the other room. "Sweetheart, I'm home!" I look at Riku, whose face is turning a flashy shade of red. "Riri, are you here honey? I have dinner!"

* * *

There you have it--an awkward ending to the first chapter. I know I act like the characters are so familiar, and if you haven't read _Heartless_ I suggest you do. This story is going to take place during the week described by Raxca during Day 37/2. But Raxca didn't remember the details quite right, so I'm writing this to clear everything up. If you _have_ read _Heartless_, throw away whatever Raxca said. Her memories are warped. This is the real deal! This is **it**, man!  
By the way, reviews are good things. Just throwing that out there.


	2. First Meal

**The First Meal**

"Quiet, woman!" Riku fumes loudly, hurting my ears as his yelling recoils off the bathroom walls and injects itself in my ear. I wince. Noticing my pain I guess, he raises a hand to the side of my face, lightly turns my head, and glances at my ear. He whispers, "Can you hear me?" with his icy breath tickling my cheeks, travelling down my neck, surrounding my entire body. Shivers race down my spine. I forget how to breathe. And I have to admit that that, even though I had a boyfriend once before the crap that dragged me to the Dark Meridian, was the hottest thing that happened to me. I nod in response to his question, pretending that he didn't just suck the life right out of me. "By the way, that's my mom out there."

I nod in acknowledgement. "O…Okay."

"Of course it is. Now come with me and play along," he orders. I follow him back to the kitchen where a tall, lean woman with black hair. Her skin is pale, eyes a sparkly green. Her smile is warm with those open, motherly eyes that look just as honest and pure as my mother's once did. "Mom, this is Cara. Cara, this is my mom Ryuu."

"Hello, dear; I haven't seen you around here before. Are you a friend of Riku's?" she asks politely, setting armfuls of bags carried in only two holds on the kitchen counter.

I glance at Riku, waiting to see what he wants me to say. He shifts his eyes and gives me a look yelling at me to go ahead. "I'm new to this area and your son just wanted to make sure I didn't get lost." _He kind of found me on a beach laughing myself to death._ "It's nice to meet you."

"You too, sweetie." She turns back to the counter and rapidly starts preparing a meal. "Would you like to stay for dinner tonight? Do you have anywhere to stay while you're here?" she asks, wiping her hands with a towel.

"If it's not too much trouble, I'd love to stay for dinner. And no, I didn't have any housing plans. I just kind of ended up here," I admit, feeling low-class compared to Ryuu. I flush, acknowledging how different from them- regular people –after seventeen months trapped on the Dark Meridian.

As Riku's mother works on dinner, I sit casually, comfortably on the large white living room sofa with a certain silver-head. We sit about ten feet from a nice 42" flat screen television. I can't remember the last time I sat in front of a TV, more so with another person. It's been more years than I can even fathom anymore.

"So what brings you here?" I am asked. Riku sits facing me, one bent leg resting on the couch, other hanging off the edge. I sit with my knees hugged to my chest. "I find you laughing like an idiot on the beach… Why is that?"

I sigh and bash my head against my knees in angst. "It's a long," _bash_, "long," _bash,_ "_long_ story," I emphasize.

He shrugs, eyes twinkling in curiosity as he peers at me. "I have time."

I groan and rub my pained forehead. "In short, it's kind of like I just escaped prison. I found the door to the Realm of Light and jumped through."

"And now you're here?"

I giggle softly. "And now I'm here."

"Where are you from?" he asks, eyes now twinkling with more interest than curiosity. I find myself flushing. Being the center of attention was never my strong suit. I could deal, but I didn't like it all that much.

I could say one of a few answers, I realize as the debate between them frantically flashes through my scattered thoughts. _It's not too late. I can still run. Wait. What am I saying? That's not even funny! Gosh Cara you're such an idiot! Stupid, stupid, stupid! _I mean, there are multiple things I could say, which completely causes me to go into panic mode. None of the answers are really _lies_ or anything, just little exaggerations of the truth and then the actual truth. The truth that would involve me admitting that I am virtually a Heartless myself after all the time I lived with them is a truth I would rather never disclose.

"I'm from Traverse Town."

I get an approving nod. "I've been there before."

I blush. _Please don't ask me anything about it_, I plead in my mind. _I haven't seen it in so long._ I pray he doesn't ask me anything about it.

…Awkward silence…

"Riku and friend, it's time for dinner!" Ryuu calls from the kitchen.

I jump up like the couch burned me and walk briskly to the dining table. And I trip over myself. Actually, I tumble to the floor. Little dizzy stars spin above my head. I flop flatly on my stomach and groan. _Story of my life_, I whine mentally.

Riku sighs and shakes his head with a smirk. "Come on, you baby." He wraps one arm around my stomach, hoisting me up and over his shoulder. I squeal and giggle uncontrollably, kicking his chest (which I can tell with my bare feet is very muscular) and hitting his back (which is _very_ well-built).

"Put me down!" I demand. "Rape!" He squeezes my side with one warm, surprisingly smooth hand, causing me to squeak. "Uncool!"

"Riku, what have I told you about molesting guests?" Ryuu faux-scolds her son with a hugely youthful smile on her face. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was still a teenager. Her face is very young. Her personality is bubbly. Her smile is childlike. Riku takes in a deep breath. I feel it and have to keep myself from swooning like a girly girl. I can tell you that is _not_ me. I've always been independent. No hot guy can change that.

"Mom, I already apologized to Kairi and that was one time before she and Sora got together," he sarcastically retorted, gently setting me on my feet next to a chair, which he politely took the liberty of pulling out and pushing in for me. I mutter a mild thank-you.

The meal set before me is the most appealing thing I've seen in an eternity. _Other than that babe sitting next to you_, the diabolical voice in my head kibitzes. I blush. Or maybe it wasn't a blush; maybe it is just the steam from the cod- potato crumb and cheese encrusted served with white bread and this strange vegetable I've never seen before. It smells delicious—absolutely delectable as the aroma wafts through my nostrils tickling my senses. That combined with the roar of white waves beyond the shore just outside the kitchen window leads me to believe this is the best meal I will ever, or have ever, have or had. Even when I lived in a Victorian palace with my parents and servants for each one of my moods the food wasn't this good. Food must taste better when you don't feel like you're genuinely alone, no matter how many people are around you. Now, with two people I just met today, I feel more at home than I ever did at home.

"So Cara, what brought you here?" Ryuu asks me, poking at her cod.

I really don't want to answer the question again. "The door into the Realm of Light," I say, evading the answer I know I'll inevitably confess.

"Really!" Ryuu gasps, munching on the fish. "You're quite a long way from home! What realm are you from?"

I hold my breath and stuff a massive bite of cod in my mouth. Then I say, "Dawf Miden," with my mouth full of fish.

Ryuu raises an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"_Dawf Meraden,_" I say, only slower and grosser. I hear Riku snort a laugh quietly.

Ryuu blinks a few times then shakes her head. "I'm afraid I don't understand…"

"Dark Meridian," Riku tells her bluntly, biting at a piece of bread. "She said _Dark Meridian_. Even though she just told me she's from _Traverse Town_," he hisses.

I quickly swallow the remainder of my mouthful of fish then explain. I refuse to make myself look bad to him. I have potential in this place and there is no way in hell I'm ruining it. "I am from Traverse Town. My mom died a few years back. Then my dad left me. I woke up one morning in the Dark Meridian and never saw home again. The end," I say simply, pointing my fork at nothing in particular, yet still holding it up.

Ryuu frowns. "Is that so?" I feel my face heat up. _Is that so?_ What, do you think I just made all that up? Wow, lady. Thanks a lot for disbelieving me. At least your son's hand his holding mine under the table and—wait, what?

Under the table, Riku is holding one of my hands. He gives it a squeeze like he's saying that he knows I'm aggravated, but calm down. It will get me nowhere. I love how automatically comfortable this guy is around me. Maybe because after accidentally straddling someone, things can't really go downhill from here.

"Yes." That's all. One bland word escapes my lips. Riku subtly slips his hand away. I pretend it was never there.

"That is quite the biography you have," Ryuu says with a smile. "How did you even manage on the Dark Meridian for this long? It's a very dangerous place, you know."

I snort. "Ha. Don't need to tell me; it was my home for a year and a half," I remind her, nibbling on the fluffy white bread between my fingers, squishing at the slightest pressure with its pillowed feel. "I seem to get along with Heartless rather well."

Riku's eyes shoot up from the scrumptious meal and pierce me peculiarly. It's like they are seeing something in me that I cannot. Which, that is not a creepy thought or anything. I never did like the idea of someone seeing into me better than I could. I never will. It's part of the whole _girl-power_ thing.

Ryuu forms an O with her light lips. "_Really_? That's amazing! I've never heard of such a thing!" She turns and glimpses the clock on the stove. "I'll go prepare the guest room for you now. Riku, would you mind clearing the table?" she asks.

Riku raises to his feet and quirks an eyebrow in the direction of his mother, who is frantically hunting through a closet for sheets. He asks her, "Don't we have someone for that?"

Ryuu laughs giddily. She's really starting to freak me out. "I forgot about that. Then Riku, would you mind pressing the _call_ button?"

"Not one bit," he says, pushing a button on the wall a few feet from the table. A chime tinkers off in the distance. I don't concern myself with it, but I follow Riku as he walks toward a peach door. "This," he says, "is the guest room."

Inside, the room is a total contrast to the rest of the house. The walls are a pale kiwi green. The flooring is white. The ceiling is white. The furniture is a sandy brown. A queen-sized bed relaxes with its headboard against the right-hand wall. On the back wall is a window, beneath it a desk. Across from the bed is a floor mirror. On the same wall as the door is a small built-in television and I'm thinking, "Man do _they _ever have it made in the shade?"

"The room across the hall is mine. If you need anything after ten, just knock. I'm usually awake. Anything else you need?"

I shake my head in utter disbelief. I am sleeping in a room across from the first person I had contact with in over a year, who just so happens to be a guy, and his mother seems to like me, and this place is beautiful, cozy, and tropical to the umpteenth degree. I could ask for no more satisfaction in life than I have right now. This is possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me.

For once, I am not all that upset that mom died or that dad left me. If I had known that I would end up here I would have killed the woman myself and hooked my dad up with a hot hooker way sooner. This could be the good life—the life I have always dreamed of living but never got the chance. I am done being sheltered. I am done being locked away. I am done being alone. This is a revolution! Hell to the yeah, it is!


	3. Nothings

**Nothings**

I lie in the bed Ryuu set up for me, staring through the blinds shading the large window against the wall to the right of me. I can see the stars just as clearly from here as I ever could from the Meridian—even better than that. The bed is comfortable. It is not too warm or too chilled; it is just right. I have trouble sleeping, though. After spending so much time watching my back at night, it will be hard to adapt to a perfect night's sleep and a little more than awkward.

There is a discreet rapping on the door. I elect to get up and open it myself as inaudibly as possible. Of course- _again_ with my _spectacular_ luck –Riku is standing there, looking unflustered, casual, and at ease though he is standing around in a white tank-top and… uh… boxers.

My life is turning really awkward really fast. Someone get me off the rollercoaster before I upchuck. Please and thank you.

"Mind if I come in?" Riku asks, peering up at me from beyond the edgy bangs that appear white in what little light the moon can shoot through the blinds.

_It can't hurt,_ I tell myself. "Sure," I permit his entrance. He mutters his thanks and sidles in past me. "So what's the matter?" I ask him.

"You lied to me," he says plainly, plopping down on the edge of the bed. I peak an eyebrow in question. He glowers at me. "You lied. You didn't tell me that you were from the Dark Meridian."

I sigh and shut the door as quietly as possible. "Is that what this is about?" If it is, I think I have forgotten how irrational people can be. No wonder I loved it _there_ so much; there were none around to piss me off. I sit on the bed, leaning against the headboard. "It's not important. Besides, how much would you want to admit that you're from a place made solely of darkness? How bad would you look if the first people you had contact with in over a year knew about it? They would treat you like a leper."

Riku folds his arms and glares. "Are you saying you're being treated _badly_ here?"

I scratch my head; try to shrug off the question. "No, but my whole _by-the-way-I'm-from-the-darkness_ thing isn't exactly the best way to start off friendships or anything."

I'm not a huge fan of explaining things to people, so trying to get this message across is the biggest pain in the neck _ever_. I thought this guy would be smarter than this, but apparently not… Damn do I ever hate people? (Oh yeah, I do.)

"Doesn't mean you couldn't have told me; you're on the _Destiny Islands_. Getting hurt here is falling on a rock in a padded cell—both physically and mentally." He adds under his breath, "The one time I play nice and I'm playing nice with a total…"

I glower and shove him. "What was that, _Riku_? Giving me hell? It's not funny. I have a lot of crap in my background and I don't need to deal with another fart-knocking idiot." He tightens his lips, blinks repeatedly, then weirdly enough starts laughing. I mean, he is _laughing_ like I was earlier today. "What's so funny?" I frown, not easing up on my glare.

"_Fart-knocking idiot?"_ he snorts, laughing harder, more openly. I hit him on the arm as hard as I can. "I'm sorry, okay! That just sounds so…"

"So what?" I ask, turning away from him and scowling at the wall with the television on it.

"It's childish," he tells me, finally starting to calm down. He rubs one eye as I note from my peripheral vision. "Not in a bad way, but it's like something my friend Sora would say."

_What kind of name is Sora?_ I think coldly.

"You won't meet him while you're here unless you plan on staying for about a week. His parents took him on vacation as a reward for all his community service he does so willingly." He adds, "I don't see why anyone would want more work than they need, but that's me- not him."

"Huh."

I wonder what Sora's like now. If he'd say _fart-knocker_ he must be equally as childlike as I am. And if I recall, that girl mentioned earlier, Kairi, is his girlfriend. I give her credit for wanting to date something like that. Then again, saying that means I have even less of a chance of ever finding anyone. Why does life suck so much? I start inwardly complaining about everything and anything about me that is unappealing to people- not that I have much to go off since I've only seen two people in almost two years –and come up with a list so long that I need a scrollbar in my head. What a shame. For a minute I thought I was worth something.

I sigh. "If that's all, I really want to go to bed. I'm tired," I tell Riku mildly, trying not to sound mean. Because no matter how much anyone agitates me, I refuse to lower to the level of being a total jerk. That isn't me.

"I came in here for something important," Riku tells me, "I guess I forgot. I'll see you in the morning." He jumps off my bed and quickly (yet shockingly silently) gets out of my room, even closing the door behind him.

Well… That was weird.

_"Cara, please pay attention," my mathematics teacher asks of me. I couldn't help it that algebra was unquestionably horrible. I liked geometry better. Also, you use it way more in life. Algebra is a waste of life. "The absolute value of 5x-2 plus 5 has to be greater than 13. Solve for x."_

_How old does she think I am, eleven? I could do this in my sleep. Actually, this whole hour I've been half asleep so there's the proof right there, written in the pudding. "X is any number greater than 2."_

_"Good. I'll leave the worksheet here. Do you think you can do them tonight?"_

_No. _

_"Yes," I lie._

_"Excellent! I'll see you tomorrow."_

_Burn in hell._

_"See you then."_

_I held abhorrence toward all things school-related. I didn't need these teachers that came to my house for an hour a day every day of the week. With five classes, they wasted five hours of my life every single day they came over. I would wait for the hour to end just to have another mentor show up half an hour later. It was horrible. All the while, my parents were off hell-knows-where doing who-knows-what. I tried not to think about it. We were wealthy people. They had to get that money somehow. It would be disrespectful to question their parenting when I had no right to judge. I was nothing more than their spawn—their spawn that stayed home most of the time and occasionally felt ambitious enough to go down to the beach and play with some of my old friends._

_"Cara!" my oldest friend, Asia, would squeal, run up, and proceed to tackle me into the sand._

_I would yelp as I was pinned to the soft white earth. "Asia!"_

_Her real name was Anastasia._

_"How was school?" I would regularly ask. She always seemed to have a story to tell._

_Today it was about how our mutual friend Juan started speaking a totally different language today and ended up scaring the teacher away by making her think he was having a panic attack en español. I laughed. He was a great friend. I loved that kid something awful in a brotherly way. _

_Then Asia and I would run down the beach like we did when we were four, eight, and ten and tell stories and be weird. That was childhood for me. My childhood was teachers and two friends. I had no idea how deprived I really was, though. _

Nowadays I might pity the old me…

_I never got to go anywhere special. I had every material possession my heart desired at my fingertips, but at the end of the day when I looked back, I had nothing. I had one nothing for every nothing I was worth._

That was a lot of nothings.

_Sniff._ I wake up.

_Groan. _I open my eyes.

_Yawn. _I want to go back to sleep so badly it's crazy.

_Pop._ My back cracks as I sit up, spine popping at every bend. "Ouch…" I mutter. There's a knock on the door and I promptly respond to it. "Come on in!" Riku walks in with his arms stretched out above his head… shirtless… muscles rippling with contraction. Dear _God_ please help me before I do inappropriate things to this boy! (Not that you could blame me or anything. The way his eyes shine and the way his hair shimmers… I could go on forever about how gorgeous he is. Please never dare me to. That's a very scary thought and very pathetic that I would even do that.)

"Good morning, Cara," he hails with a smile. "Welcome to your first full day on Destiny Island."

I grin back at him, remembering where I am, exactly, and why there's a beautiful boy in front of me. "Awesome!" I say excitedly. "Have anything good on the agenda for today?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow curiously and cracking out my shoulders. _Damn,_ I'm thinking, _my back really hurts. I wonder if there are any good massage therapists on these islands_.

I try not to look at Riku while thinking this because I already know my face just turned eight shades of red.

"Well," he begins. "You could have a tour of this general area then see where the day goes from there. I'm not a fan of planning," he admits sheepishly. I notice he sets a piece of paper on the far wall's desk.

I shake my head, shrugging. "Hey, it's fine by me. I'm the exact same way."

_I wouldn't be here if I was any good at planning._

Riku smiles and tells me, "That's good. Today will flow easily then." He steps back into the hallway, not about to leave without shutting the door behind. "Breakfast should be up soon. Take as long as you need to get ready. I know you had a long day yesterday."

_Yet it felt like it went by in a minute…_

"Okay. Thanks, Riku."

"No problem." And he flashes me this heart-stopping smile, shutting the door carefully after himself. I almost cannot breathe right now. It wasn't a hugely open, toothy smile. It was more one of those subtle _I acknowledge you and don't want to be stupid by smiling like an idiot_ smiles.

My heart flutters. I feel like I'm floating as I hover over the note on the desk.

_Cara,_

_There are fresh clothes in the closet. Take what you want; it's no trouble at all._

_Laundry is done every two days, so plan accordingly, please!_

_Breakfast is served at ten here and the only rule is to eat however much you want!_

_By the way, Riku says hi._

_(I asked him if he had anything to add to this and he turned bright red and muttered 'hello'.)_

_Ryuu_

I chuckle at the way Ryuu formatted the note. No adult would leave a message like that. Either she is very young or just naturally a tad off the edge because my parents never would have written down anything that would make them sound so undeveloped. They would have called her an imbecile. Now that I think about it, my parents _were not_ very nice people. At least my dad was not. My mom sort-of was. It _was_ what got her killed, after all.

I open the closet, rummage through the immense amount of skirts and shirts, and piece something to wear together. It turns out to be this really short (why does Ryuu have this?) white skirt and a blue top that has a gray vest to go over it. I stand in front of the floor mirror and observe my work. For have not being brushed in ages, my short, dark chocolate brown hair is strangely straight and my bangs look fabulously edgy, angled towards my right eye, which is just as thunderstorm gray as the left. My nose still has a stupid little bump in it, just like my mom's did when she broke it. The baby fat _finally_ left my square-shaped face so it looks much less square now. I have perfectly placed cheekbones, too. Freaking genetics screwed me over on the nose, though. My skin is still relatively tan, but I could use _a lot_ of time in the sun, no doubt about it. I'm still about five-foot-nine—pretty tall for a female and I'm still somewhat thin. Impressive how well I held up after all that time in the dark. I'm rather proud right now. I twirl around once in the skirt and admire the sight. At least I'm still moderately good-looking. That's one thing I have going for me… Kind-of…

I am still stuck in my own body as myself every day. I am still here on an island with respectful people I do not deserve as hosts. Worst part is the only thing I have is a million nothings to my name.

* * *

Ah, another chapter of my favorite project down. Hope you enjoy. Reviews are lovely :)


	4. Breaking Boundaries

**Breaking Boundaries**

Post-breakfast, I immediately start ragging Riku as to where, exactly, he is going to drag me on today's coming tour. He rubs his eyes as I stalk him babyishly around the house. I find it funny when he starts to look like he is going to completely explode on me then looks like he chose against it. Finally, right in front of the bathroom, he glowers at me. I cower, shrinking a little.

"Ask my mom for money. I'll be out soon enough," he tells me before slamming the door in my face.

_Wow, what a guy,_ I snort mentally. I hunt down Ryuu, who is sitting on the sofa in the living room in front of the television, but it is off. "Ryuu?" I try to tear her attention from the book in her hands.

"Yes, Cara?" she responds, looking over the back of the couch with a motherly grin. My heart jumps at the miniscule gesture.

"Riku told me I should ask you for money…" I nervously notify her, scuffing my bare feet on the wood flooring. If she gets mad at me, I will be so mad at Riku. I mean, I will hunt him and hit him so hard his friend Sora on vacation will feel it. And yes, as a matter of fact I _can_ hit that hard.

Ryuu's beam does not falter. She slips a bookmark into her hardcover book and travels around the couch, motioning for me to follow her into the kitchen. "Did he say how much he wanted?" she asks, looking at me briefly to see me shaking my head before rummaging through her purse. "That boy," she grumbles. "Sometimes I wonder why he has to be so _dark_ and vague. He's nothing like his friends."

I tilt my head in curiosity. Suddenly, my devious side that wants to know everything and anything no matter how creepy it is to know the things breaks through my barriers. "What are his friends like?"

Ryuu's eyes fill with joy. "Sora is the most delightful boy I've ever met. Sometimes I wonder if I love him more than Riku, we have so much in common. That boy is like a ball of sunshine. Where he is, light is sure to follow."

_Funny; sounds like the opposite of me._

"Then Kairi is probably one of the things that irritate Riku the most in life, but she gives him a reason to push himself to do better at everything. She is constantly competing against Riku for Sora's attention as a friend, but both my son and I know that when he's away, the two go into this little couple-like mode then deny it. I think it's cute, but at any thought of love or romance or things like that, Riku proceeds to shut himself off and becomes a cynic." She frowns, perky eyes flashing dark and remorseful. Mine probably do too. I suddenly feel sympathy for this cheerful woman. I didn't think she had a sad side, but I guess she does. And this sad side is _very_ lonely and _very_ miserable. "When his father left, he lost all hope in love, called it a lie. I suppose it's understandable, but… I feel bad for him having to deal with the problems his father and I set up."

I hang my head in mourning—belated mourning for the loss of Riku's hope. It's probably why he keeps Sora and Kairi- two people totally different from him –around; it helps him forget about the darkness. Me, I'll never forget the darkness. I doubt I have any light in my heart anymore. It's not worth anything if you take it from me and no one would care or mind if I just died today. My father was a disgusting man, my mother was a dunce. I'm the product of failure, doomed to fail as epically as they failed during their periods of failure and failing.

Ryuu's eyes suddenly perk up again. "Sorry for dumping that all on you. It was a bit out-of-character for me. I try not to think about it a lot of the time." She hands me her wallet. "Spend as much as you want in any way you want. As long as you pretend I never said a single word." She winks mischievously.

_There,_ I think. _There's the real Ryuu._

"Never said a single word about what?" I say, playing along. I have a hard time believing she just handed me her wallet. Mom and dad would never do that for me. They would buy me nothings, but I never got to go with them to the store. Now someone else's mother is handing me her wallet and playfully telling me to spend as much as I want…

My life doesn't suck anymore.

"Good girl," Ryuu praises me pleasantly. She calls for Riku. "Get out here right now or I'll turn the hot water off!" she threatens. I hear the shower turn off promptly. "You _never_ keep a girl waiting, Riri!" she teaches him. We both hear the door to the bathroom thrown open. Riku walks out with damp hair (probably at least partially towel-dried) in a pair of baggy jeans and a t-shirt. "You're learning," Ryuu says to him, patting him on the back as he walks towards the door.

He shoves his feet into a pair of shoes, bored. "Yeah, whatever you say woman." He pushes the door open and stands in the doorway. "Ready to go, Cara?"

Still trying to ignore how hot he looks with his hair clinging to his face and neck… and if he were sweating… and on top—never mind! I never thought that! Naughty thoughts! Anyway, I'm still trying not to think about how good he looks rugged. I nod blankly and walk over to him.

"Riku, Cara has full control of my money. She doesn't have to listen to you at all and can do whatever she wants, alright?"

_So I can do your son?_

Riku scratches his head while rolling his perfect eyes. "Sure, why not?"

"Good. Curfew is eleven and if you see Kairi in town, tell her I said hi," Ryuu managed to get out before Riku interrupted her by saying a quick good-bye and closing the door by kicking it.

"Geez I thought she'd never shut up," he groans, rubbing his head. I smile a little. "Nothing good is open until around one today since it's a Sunday. How much money did she say you could spend?" he asks, massaging the back of his neck.

_Can't you please do that to mine?_

I snap out of the hypnosis and stick my tongue out at him. "She said I could spend as much as I want," I brag, waving the wallet in front of his face.

He grins and swats my hand away. "You can't make me jealous."

_Try me._

"_Sure I can't_," I sarcastically agree. "What do you want to do first?"

Riku appears at a momentary loss of words. "I told you before we're going where you want."

I shrug harmlessly. "Well I've never been here so I have to know what there is before I can decide what to do, right?"

"Good point." He thinks for a few seconds. I do not bother trying to not think about how adorable he looks when he is trying to think. Boys; they can be so adorable when they are hurting themselves. "It's not a small island and could take a while if you really want to take everything in."

_Taking you in sounds good…_

"How about we get through part of it today then the rest tomorrow? I'll be a local by the time I meet Sora!" I ecstatically suggest, bouncing up and down. For a second I forgot I have… uh… breasts, so when Riku's eyes start following them I'm a little startled. I stop bouncing. I cup my hands over my mouth. "This is earth to pervert. Please stop staring. It's very rude and starting to creep me out," I lie.

His face turns bright red.

_Aw, how cute!_

He turns his head away sharply. "Um… Sorry…" he apologizes unconvincingly. He starts walking and gestures for me to follow beside him. After a couple minutes of following him up a dirt path, he finally talks. "I was thinking town for today, then a couple other places tomorrow. There's someplace… special I want to show you before the week is up."

That sly look on his face reads _I have a plan_ all over it. I love being underestimated; it means I can have more taunting my prey before going in for the kill.

My prey is Riku.

I refuse to kill him. He is way too precious to me now for that.

Don't call me crazy, okay? I'm not being pathetic and saying I am in love with him or it was love at first sight or anything. I was introduced when I accidentally _yanked him on top of me_. That is not love at first sight. Either way I think that is total crap. I have a tendency to get close to people quickly and never want to let go, though. Maybe that is the most pitiful, pathetic part of me. I never want to let go. I accept it, but sometimes things change so much so fast, it would be nice to have something to cling to. Mindlessly aloud, I tell Riku this. Not the part about being in love, but the tendency to get close to people, blah-blah-blah, you know where I'm going with this.

Something in Riku's eyes changes when I tell him this. Suddenly, the youth in him is gone as he stops walking, turns to me, and stares me seriously in the eyes. My mouth goes dry. I have to keep my lips together so they do not hang open like a dolt. I stand beside him, turned three-quarters of the way toward him. Words escape his mouth.

"I won't lie and tell you things don't change," he states bluntly. "I _can_ promise you that I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to," he says.

Water pools at my tear ducts. Unexpectedly and involuntarily, I hug him. I mean, I wrap my arms around his waist, rest my head on his chest. At first I can tell how shocked he is by the rigidness of his posture, but when he finally eases up and hugs me back, I thank him.

"No problem."

I'm wondering, _does he know?_

In my mind, where it is safe I ask, _Riku, do you know? Do you know that my heart is speeding up? Do you know that I feel at ease a hundred percent around you? Do you know it feels like I've known you my whole life?_

_I told you that I need something to cling to. Wrong. I need someone to cling to. Not just anyone. Oh no. _Just anyone_ isn't good enough for me. I want to cling to you forever and never let go. That's what I want to do. Would you mind if I did that, if only for a day?_

_Hey Riku, did you know I was wrong?_

_I was very, very wrong._

_I am very, very crazy._

The town is paved by a cobblestone path, oddly, much like Traverse Town. The district itself has a far more tropical feel as opposed to Victorian, though. Other than that, I could almost say that I was just sent back two years in time. It's sometime around two in the afternoon. Riku told me earlier that everything starts around one, so we were part of a lot of traffic. I start to wonder what's going to happen when he has to go to school tomorrow. I'll be all by my lonesome without him during the day. I'll have to keep a journal or something! Ugh. What if he decides to pick it up and read it like an obnoxious little brother?

_You're an idiot. I'm going to forgive you and pretend you didn't just compare Riku to a little brother._

Whoops.

"You hungry at all?" Riku asks me courteously as we pass by a really nice-looking bistro. I peek around it curiously to see what's behind it. I notice in the distance, near a cliff, there's a tree growing with stars growing on it.

I point to it hungrily. "Does this place serve those?" I ask.

Riku flushes. "The papou fruit?" he double checks with me. I nod as if I know what I am talking about. "Yeah, but I've never had one. I've heard they're really good, though."

I raise an eyebrow. "If they're so good, why haven't you bothered trying one?" I pry into his reasoning, which better be damn good if it's stalling me from getting something to eat.

"Uh… Well…" His face just keeps turning redder and redder. It's like he completely lost his composure. "There's a legend behind it. I'm pretty much not allowed to eat one yet."

"Why not?" I pout. "It looks really good."

"Exactly, that's the thing. It's said that 'if two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what'," he explains to me. I start blushing furiously. No wonder he had not gotten around to one yet. After what his mom told me, I am surprised he even knows about a legend like that. "So… I haven't really had a chance for that."

_I wonder if there's a way to get him to share one with me…_

_Oh! Oh! Idea! I'm a genius!_

"Well you do now!" I tell him, grinning virtually ear-to-ear.

"How?" he asks, sounding bored.

I whack him on the arm. He winces. "Don't play dumb with me. You _just_ promised me that you are not 'going anywhere unless I want you to'." He blinks in realization and rubs the bridge of his nose like he just made the worst mistake ever. "Come on, it won't be that bad. If it tastes good then it'll be totally worth it!" I attempt to assure him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Usually they're only shared by people who are, you know, in love or something," he says defensively. I whack him again. "Can you stop that?" I pout and fold my arms crossly. He scratches his forehead. "Sometime this week I'll split one with you. Not today, but sometime."

I beam. _I love getting my way. _"Promise," I request for closure.

He smiles from behind the silvery hair shading his eyes, rubbing the back of his finally-dry hair. "I promise. If it makes you feel any better, I'll even wait for Sora to get back."

I raise an eyebrow. _The kid with the freaky name again? Seriously, what's so great about him?_ "What's the significance of that?" I examine. Maybe this will tell me a little bit more about their friendship? I don't even know what I'm fishing for. It's a waste, probably. Who cares, though? I feel like a spy!

Riku scoffs enjoyably. "He would never believe me if I told him I actually shared one. I want him to be there. I'm going to beat him to the punch."

"What's the punch?"

"He hasn't shared one with Kairi yet," explains Riku. "See, Kairi is _very_ special to him. I once even had him compete against me for her attention just for the fun of it. I wanted to see him squirm." He eyes me devilishly. I blush. That's probably the sexiest look I've ever seen on anyone… ever. "But he won after a day full of pointless arguing. He was supposed to share the fruit with her then but didn't. If I beat him to it, it'd be great."

I shove him. "That's precisely why we should share one now! There's no time like the present."

"I know, but..."

I open my mouth to retort once more, but a girl shouting Riku's name steals my attention. Her hair is the color of a strawberry, very silky as it floats behind her while she runs, waving ridiculously. Her feet and hands look a bit too big in proportion to the rest of her body, but her charming smile distracts you from that. She's wearing a _ton_ of pink… a little too much for my taste, but, 'to each their own'.

"Hi, Kairi," Riku meets her blandly.

"Hey, Riku! Who's your new friend?" she inquires, inspecting me as she slows to a halt, standing in one place, eying me curiously. "She's pretty."

"I know she is," Riku agrees, face turning slightly red. "Kairi, this is Cara. Cara, this is Kairi."

"It's nice to meet you. I've heard a ton about you," I convey to her, nodding once to acknowledge her.

Kairi beams, giggling. Her smile is contagious. I could smile with her right now if I weren't so preoccupied mentally. "I'm sure you have. Since I moved here, I really intruded on this one's life. He has a lot he could be complaining about."

"Come on, Kairi. Do you really think I'd do that to you?" Riku asks mischievously, raising an eyebrow.

Kairi puts her hands on her thin hips. "I _know_ you would, Riku."

"Well I haven't," he states.

"Well good for you," she squelches. Then she smiles back at me. "What are you up to?"

I shrug and rub the back of my head. "I was just going to get some stuff around town for me to wear while I'm out here. I didn't exactly prepare for this trip…"

Kairi grins. "Do you mind if I tag along?"

"Sure, why not? Have any objections, Riku?"

Riku hangs his head and rubs the bridge of his nose, just like he did to me. He groans quietly. "I don't see why not."

Kairi squeals and grabs Riku's shoulder excitedly. "This is going to be so much fun!"

I raise an eyebrow. If I had to guess, I'd say she is one of the most pointlessly happy people I have ever met. Riku shoots me a look of distress, screaming SOS. I smile back at him, grab his wrist, and tug him away from Kairi. She stumbles, but causelessly in thinking it was an accident. It so was not an accident. I was just trying to keep what's rightfully mine.

* * *

Woot for updates! I went to the Kiss 108 Concert last night and let me tell you: IT. WAS. GREATMAZING.  
I loved it. So because I'm happy, I figured I'd update as many stories as possible today, which sadly is only two.  
This & Heartless. Anyways, Reviews are cool. :) They make the author smile and _you_ get more chapters.


	5. Moments Pt One

**Moments One**

After today's shopping escapade with Riku and Kairi, I got the strangest feeling that the former inwardly despises the latter. I was getting some major _angst _vibes off of Riku and frankly, it made me kind of sad. To me it sounds like the girl just came in and took his best friend from him. That's not cool, you know. It really isn't. Alas, because my interest is always peaked, after the escapade I asked Riku if he would show me more of the beach tonight. Much to my pleasure (I had a spaz attack once he locked himself in his room) he agreed to it. I try to find inconspicuous excuses to spend time with him. Tonight is one of those times.

_He told me, "Make sure you're up around midnight and we can go down to the beach."_

_"Why so late?" I asked him, groaning. I tend to enjoy sleeping and being deprived of it makes me irritable._

_"It always looks better at high tide."_

Current time is eleven forty at night and I am all set and ready to go, wearing the same thing I did earlier, only I now elect to not wear shoes. I can handle it barefoot. It doesn't bother me one bit. And so I try to find a way out of the house without _anyone_ noticing, not even Riku. I look around the living room- illuminated solely by the moonlight cascading through the windows and doors –trying to find a safe way out. The front door creaks when you close it. I don't know how to open the windows.

I turn to the sliding glass door just beyond the dining room table, wondering why that wasn't the first thing to come to my mind. _Wow. I'm real smart._

I unlock the door and as quietly as possible slide it open, releasing the chorus of cricket chirps and frog croaks into the house in surround sound. I slam it shut, unintentionally loud. Just in case someone heard me, I run down the steps from the porch and sneak out onto the beach. I squeak on my way through a rock garden and yelp when a sand crab nips the bottom of my foot. I swear it blisters immediately. Provoked, I fall to the soft white sand just as I did yesterday only this time I sit comfortably, feet touching the tide just barely; chilly water racing up the shore to meet me. I dip my fingers in to say hello. I pull my knees toward my chest and rest my chin on them. Above, the moon shines brighter than any star—a glowing white orb of mystery. Not a full moon tonight, but a waxing gibbous moon. I wonder what really is on the dark side of the moon. I suppose it's too cold to go there from never getting light. It's most likely inhabitable.

I close my eyes and enjoy the murmur of the rippling waves, now racing up the sand to greet me. They crash on top of each other, fighting for dominance. I giggle quietly to myself at the competition.

"You're early." A voice interrupts the otherwise peaceful, whispering world.

My eyes slide lightly open. I turn my head to see Riku standing next to me. "So are you," I point out, patting a patch of sand close beside me. I don't mean for it to be that close, but it mattes the white crystals, creating a perfect place to sit. I could only wish for him to sit there…

He sits on the spot, just like I hoped moments ago. Inwardly, I beam with joy. Outwardly, my hand lies tiredly in the sand. "Beautiful, isn't it?" he asks dreamily, stretching out his legs, staring out into the distance.

I gaze in the same direction. "I don't see anything…"

"The darkness," he says. I blink.

_If that's what he wants to call it… _

"What's it like… the Dark Meridian?" he ponders aloud.

I rest my chin back on my kneecaps and leer into the darkness on the horizon, miles from the moons light. "It's quiet… empty… dead."

"Is it?" He sighs. He copies my position, only faces me instead of out into nothingness. "I wish I could live there sometimes."

I chuckle and shake my head discouragingly. "No, you do not. I can tell you that from experience. I haven't had any interaction with people in over a year because of that damned place. I feared for my life whenever these crazy guys in black cloaks would have meetings there. You do _not_ want to live there."

"But," he starts to rebuttal, "if people like us are the darkness, imagine how bright light must beam," he notes.

I turn to face him. "People like us?"

He blushes and scratches his head, immediately averting his eyes from my face. "Well yeah. If people like us who are already decent people were dark, then the light of the world would be fluorescent."

_He has a point. I've already been the darkness and I found some very white lights around here._

"You know what I mean?" he asks, meeting my eyes again fearlessly, reds and pinks absent from his cheeks.

I feel my face heat up. Maybe it's those eyes. The way those silky smooth emerald eyes gently brush over my face tears me up inside. Or maybe it's the smile—that surprisingly charming boyish smile that crosses his features is heart-stopping. Or maybe it's everything about him; I have a hard time imagining what he would be like missing a single one of his flaws or qualities. This is so strange. There is this fluttering in the pit of my stomach. I think I am becoming nervous. Am I sweating? No, that was just humidity. Wait, it is not even that humid right now. What is happening to me? Why do I feel like I am about to faint?

"I know exactly what you mean," I finally bring myself to speak.

"Can I tell you something?" Riku asks, looking back out at the moon's reflection on the ocean dancing across the waves.

"Sure."

"You just got here yesterday, right?" he asks.

I raise an eyebrow. I did, right? I have a hard time remembering. It feels like I have been here so much longer. "Yes. Why?"

His body rumbles with solemn laughter. "It feels like I've known you for years."

_Ping._

What was that?

"Honestly, I like you more than Kairi already and I've known her for some time now."

_Ping._

Again?

"I don't know when you were planning on leaving, but…" he pauses to smile softly at me. "Please don't leave."

_PING._

Ouch! Will you stop pinging me? Why is my heart doing that, anyway? Why is it speeding up? Why do I have an adrenaline rush? Why do I want to tackle Riku to the ground and-!

* * *

Ha! Kinky cliffhanger. So do me a favor, will ya? Even if you do it anonymously, can you review this and tell me honestly what you think about this story? (Not just Cara; she's probably officially my favorite character. Maybe even more than Raxca.) This story is going someplace wild and unexpected and possibly even out of Riku's character, but not entirely. I refuse to lose one of my favorite characters through reckless fangirlism. So review, review! :) Part two of this chapter to be up within the next couple days. Sorry for the disappointing length.


	6. Moments Pt Two

Moments Two

I am aware of two things right now. Not one. Not three. Just two—a happy medium, it is.

One is that somehow, I was just pushed onto my back in the sand. Well, sort-of; Riku's one hand is on my back, holding me at a tender angle.

Two is that someone, most likely Riku, is kissing me.

And if this list were permitted to have a three, I would add that I am kissing back, arms wrapped comfortably around his neck, binding him to me, refusing to let go. His body heats up. Or maybe that's me? I have a feeling he is about to lie me down entirely, but he actually pulls me up so I am sitting in a position he can take advantage of. So I am on my knees, arms still around his neck, his now wrapped equally as tightly around my waist. With each kiss, I feel my body heating up more and more. I push him onto his back and straddle him, then go back to the kissing.

He nips my bottom lip asking for entrance into my mouth. I refuse to give it to him and slip my hands up his shirt, exploring every defined contour, every corner, touching every last inch of skin until my WHS* stops going into overdrive. He lightly pushes my shirt up my back a little with one hand, but I have a hard time focusing on that. The only thing I'm really concerned with is whether or not I'm a good kisser. I think I had a boyfriend at one point before the Meridian, but…

With the unoccupied hand, Riku lightly- like a feather –traces up my spine—my greatest weakness. Tingles and goose bumps appear wherever his hand touches, causing me to shudder and moan into a kiss accidentally, giving him permission to force his way into my mouth with his tongue. Then I realize how familiar this is…

I don't let him into my mouth and instead pull back very abruptly. Pools of water form in my eyes. I squeeze them shut and rest my head on Riku's chest tensely.

_I don't want this…_

I so want him…

_I want to let him go…_

I can't let him go…

I feel Riku's chest rising up and down with his breath unsteadily, as if trying to catch it. I feel guilty for ruining something. I ruined it. I know this isn't the first time I've ruined it. I ruined it for me this time, though, and that makes it so much worse. I start to cry quietly.

"Cara," Riku whispers. Sitting up, taking me into his lap he asks, "What's the matter?"

I shake my head, trying to rid my thoughts of the memories. _Please shut up._ "I… I'm s-so-sorry," I stutter, trembling in his arms. The crying gets harder, but I bite my lip to keep quiet.

"Shush… Don't worry about it. Whatever it is, don't worry about it. Nothing can hurt you right now."

But it feels like a lie. All of this new life I could be starting feels like a dirty lie. And Riku? He's just a figment of my delusional imagination begging to get out of my mind and (apparently) get me out of my clothes. Something about this is just too unreal—too much of what I want to actually be happening. My life has sucked too much for this to happen.

I've heard that times where you get enraptured and lose sight of reality are called _moments_.

I'm pretty sure I just ruined one.

The next morning I awake in my own bed, in my own clothes, alone, confused, and with a headache. I'm even tucked in under the comforters. The window on the right-hand wall is partially open and a light breeze jazzes between walls, hence the comforter. I clutch it close to my chest and stare straight up at the ceiling. What even happened? I feel like I cried a ton. My head is pounding bitchily. My throat is scratchy in the worst, driest way. Should I cry again? No, I think I might have done enough of that yesterday. It stinks that I cannot remember anything for the life of me, but… On the other hand, I think it might be for the best.

There is a very soft rapping at my door. It's so quiet I hardly hear it. Just for fun I whisper _come in_ as mildly as possible. Yet Riku (why Riku; haven't you done enough?) still opens the door and walks in, closing it gently behind him. "Good morning," he says, sitting on the edge of the bed beside me. I'm still lying down.

"Hey."

He sighs and rubs my arm. "Don't try to act so blah. I know that's not you," he says. "You just had a rough night. Don't worry about it."

I groan and pull the covers above my head. I grumble, "I will worry about it. I'm such a loser."

Riku laughs. "You aren't a loser." He pulls the blanket down from my face. Or at least he tries to. (Unsuccessfully, might I add?) "Come on, you aren't a loser."

"Yes I _am_," I complain, curling up in a cocoon.

"No, you are not. Now get up or I'll make you," he threatens emptily.

I snort. "You can't make me-!" I squeal. "Ah!" He yanks the covers off me and throws me over his shoulder. I kick and scream and whine like a little kid. "Put me down!"

He laughs and shakes his head with an open smile. "No chance!"

I pout as childishly as possible, pleading with my eyes. I tap on his shoulder to make him turn around. His hand is on the doorknob. It drops when he sees my face. I whisper _please_ in the cutest voice I can muster. (I'm not a _cute_ person so this was quite the challenge.) Riku shockingly sets me down on my feet right in front of him, backs himself against the door. He locks it subtly. I almost do not notice, but I do. The mood, with us just standing there staring at each other, does a full one-eighty. There is no more giddy play. There is no more childish behavior. There is only a fully serious moment.

"What happened to you last night?" Riku asks suddenly. "Out of nowhere you started going crying..."

I scuff my feet on the floor nervously. I really do not want to talk about this. Why does he have to persist? Why could he not just drop it like everyone else in my life has? Usually when people see a problem, they go running. _Hello_—_earth to Riku; there is a situation. Run away now or forever regret it, you freaking idiot!_

"Just some stuff," I say vaguely. "It isn't important. Don't worry about it."

"You are such a liar!" he claims, crossing his arms peevishly, leaning his back against the door comfortably. Did I mention the way his muscles ripple when he's flexing that way?

"I am not!" I lie, folding my arms the same way, only coming across as way less sexually appealing. How the hell does he do that? _It looks like he was right, you moron. You are such a liar._

"Look, Cara, I know you were upset. The same thing happens to Kairi. Hell, even _Sora_ cries when he gets upset enough."

"What about you?" I blurt.

He raises an icy brow. "What about me?"

"Don't you cry? What makes you so special?" I ask stupidly. _Please, someone shut me up._

The seriousness in his eyes fades quickly. He laughs and stretches his arms out, unlocking the door. "I haven't cried in years. I take pride in that record." He puts one hand on the doorknob, but seems to change his mind. I tilt my head curiously.

And before I know it, he tugs on my wrist, pulls me close to him, and holds me tightly. I feel my face turning bright red. My heart beat slows down to a comfortable pace. Riku whispers, "I'm going to let you in on a little secret: too much time is wasted on tears." He buries his face in the crook of my neck and places a kiss at its base. I shiver. "Why waste valuable time for things like _this_," he pauses, nipping at my neck. I try to hold back a tiny moan. He continues, "On something as petty as crying?" He looks up at me curiously. I take it he does not intend on staying near my collar much longer. He brings his face back to level with mine. "So don't cry anymore, okay?"

* * *

GAH. Haven't updated this in forever! (Because a week is _definitely_ forever...) Anyways, this is starting to suck. Good thing it only has a couple more chapters and then it's over! Praise God! (Hail Satan!) Anyone catch the Yugioh Abridged reference?


	7. Author'sNooooteee

**The A/N to End all A/Ns**

**A/N**: It's been… a long time since I've worked with FFN to say the least. It's been a long time since I've written quite a few of these stories. So to do everyone a favor, I'm going to put this note up on all the old stories that were going to be updated and mention the condition of each. Sounds like a plan to me. In the meantime, I'd like to thank everyone who's ever taken the time to review a LIT story. It's been a decent road that I hope to hop back on this season, inspired by my good friend _FreeKiwi_. If you've never read his stories, you should. They're sights for sore eyes, lemme tell ya.

Anyway, I'm sure a lot of the people that used to read my stories are gone by now and it might only be new people that read this note, but no matter who you are it doesn't matter. Because we all have one thing in common…

FAAAANFICTIOOOONNNN. (Trollolololzors?)

Without further ado, I give you the plans! Going in order from oldest update to newest with these stories. Blasts from the past are win!

**X**

Shades of Destiny: 99.999% chance this will never be updated again. Marking it as complete as I have a new videogame love that is NOT Riku sadly. This story was fun for a little bit but I didn't even like it's parallel-sequel that I'd written first so to be honest it's probably better that it never gets updated.

80 Days of You: I'd originally been writing this with a friend of mine whom I'm not longer in close contact with. I miss her terribly since she's moved but I guess this is just the way things go. Marking it as complete, never updating.

Defining Alive: Our Pact: This story was the _definition_ of planning and not following through. Believe me…I have an entire outline for the series sitting somewhere on my computer. If you want the outline for the series or would like to take the outline and write the story from here on out the way you'd like, feel free to inbox me and be my guest. It was a good idea but the odds of me updating it are low… Then again since I've been a twisted fuck lately it might come back. Who knows.

Muse: Marking as complete. Not updating. Nuff said.

Or Never: I'm relatively sure that this story, if this note gets read, will be the only thing anyone cares about. It was a good run of a story, but my writing style has changed a lot since the original _Matchstick Houses_ and even _Or Never_ itself. I can't guarantee I won't come back and try to fix the whole thing or come back and finish it in my new style. Not marking it as complete because in my head it's not. It still hasn't reached the end. QQ

Fad: I didn't even like writing this. Marking as complete. Never updating.

Ink: See above.

Country Gentleman: I liked this idea. Might come back to it. The short chapters meant I could write it in short spurts and not feel guilty about it.

My SVS: And here's where you'll start thinking, "BUT CARA/SCOTTY/WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE! I THOUGHT SVS WAS OVER!" I'll be more than obliged to say, "Yes, random awkward fan, it is. But it's very, _very_ possible I'll continue with the story based off of the true ending, _Wishful Thinking_ (if anyone remembers that. It's been a fucking year). Everyone thought that the first ending was the legitimate one. So did I, to be honest. But looking back on it, if I want to continue this story it _will _be, for a fact through the final ending that I offered of the story. Shit. I already have plans.

New Stories to Possibly Come!

_Perfect World:_ While I've been gone, I've been playing Perfect World International and private servers of PWI. If you know anything about it, I'm on Dreamweaver for PWI, PWBD, and PWV as well as PWR. _In a Perfect World_ would essentially be the true stories of what I did over Summer 2011 and my time on PWBD. It's actually rather dramatic, sad, and heartwarming. You'd be surprised. o.o So I think that'd be a fun tale to share with the world.

_Final Fantasy X/X-2:_ I don't have a title because I haven't really worked on it much yet. It's kind of something I dabble with between hours of fighting Evrae e.e But it could easily become more than that and most likely will.

_Kingdom Hearts:_ YEAH BABY. That's what you wanted to hear, right? It's all about Kingdom fucking Hearts, man. Is it going to be yaoi? Probably not. The relationship I'm currently in reminds me a lot of Roxas and Namine when it comes to characters. So if I come back the stories most likely _won't_ be the AkuRoku you know and love. D: And since I actually dislike Kairi odds are there won't be a SoKai going on there. She reminds me of a typical teenage dumb bitch and it's _so_ aggravating!

**X**

Thank you so much for reading this note if you did. I hope to reconnect with the FF community and see what's been going on. I went back and read some old stories recently that reminded me what it was all about and why I enjoyed it so much.

Authors that managed to do this without even realizing it include **Verovex, FreeKiwi, **and **XShiori-chanX. **Gosh I don't even know if two out of the three are still on here anymore :( It's been so long.

See you on the other side, readers. And if you ARE reading this note, thank you. I love you. o.o


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